A few months ago an email bounced into my inbox from the producers of a massive career podcast who were searching for a new co-host to take over the show, and apparently they wanted me.
When I received that email, my eyes went BOING and burst right out of their little sockets. On paper this was a dream opportunity, not only because it had the potential to exponentially grow my public profile but because it was a chance to spread the portfolio career message far and wide.
Over the following weeks, conversations with the producers progressed. I started fantasising about being back on the mic and began noting down episode ideas I could pitch. I recorded a trial episode as a vibe-check with the other host. But as we got further and further into contract negotiations I realised that I was about to sign myself up for a mountain of work which would massively impact my already overly ambitious plan for the rest of the year.
The cost to play was big. I had products I wanted to bring to market. Growth aspirations for this Substack. A creative project that’s been in the works for months. This would all need to be put on the back burner, and instead, I’d have to give up my meeting-free Fridays to dedicate to recordings. I’d have to redeploy my limited creative energy towards producing content for a channel that wasn’t owned by me. I’d need to give up the unbridled joy of not being accountable to other people’s deadlines. I’d have less energy for writing.
As I considered these hidden costs it became abundantly clear that the price wasn’t right. The next day I gracefully declined and, almost immediately, I breathed a big ol’ sigh of relief.
As portfolio-people building careers that are agile and fluid by design, we face tough decisions like this every day. We wrestle with questions like:
Should I focus my limited time on showing up online or trying to land my first client directly?
Should I speak on that panel or will it be a waste of my time?
Should I build this new product or is it a distraction from other proven income streams?
Should I say yes to this new shiny thing or will it derail all of my progress?
When making tough decisions, many of us struggle to assess the trade-offs holistically and if you’re anything like I was circa 2022 you probably say yes to everything and figure out the details later. But operating this way often means getting slammed with hidden costs that leave you overworked, underpaid and trapped in a self-constructed cage of amazing opportunities you simply couldn’t turn down. These days, to save myself from yes-regret, I find it helpful to pause and objectively assess all factors at play. I consider:
If I say yes to this, what will I gain?
How important are these gains to me?
If I say yes to this, what will I lose?
Do I care about these losses?
Am I willing to pay the price?
What does my gut say?
These questions have surfaced many a blind spot and they’ve saved me from making bad decisions about good opportunities that I know I’d later regret.
So if you’re struggling with a big decision like I was, I hope you remember to calculate both the costs and the gains. I hope that when the price is right, you scream the words to thunderous applause. And I hope that when the costs are too big, you find the strength to utter the most powerful word in the English language - no - before breathing a big ol’ sigh of relief.
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I turned something really good down earlier this year on a hunch - and a perfect (and very profitable) project fell in my lap a few weeks later which I wouldn’t have been able to take on. I’d never done that before but knew straight away it was right - I could feel my whole body take a breath as I was saying no. ‘No’ is a muscle I think, it does get easier!
Such a great post to read today. I just made a big decision and not only feel lighter but also WAY more aligned to the life I truly desire to create. So good. Thanks for sharing. 💗