Why I've stopped apologising for my ambition.

The Girlboss may have exited the building, but some of us are still inside.

👋🏼 Hey, I’m Anna! I’m a founder and operator in an ongoing relationship with writing. Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share business, career and life lessons, infused with a dash of humour and vulnerability.

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When two friends and I started our business lady-brains, I was 28 years old.

The year was 2017. Girlboss, the TV show based on the life of wildly successful businesswoman Sophia Amoruso, had just been released on Netflix. I binged episode after episode, each one giving me the hit I needed to feed my addiction to the entrepreneurial dream.

I aspired to be a founder too. That’s part of the reason I started lady-brains; I wanted to build something that meant something and told myself I’d work harder than anyone, for longer than anyone, and #girlboss my way to ‘success’.

After a couple of years of side hustling, around mid-way through 2019 and with $50k in the bank, I quit my job to go all in on our passion project, which at the time was growing a loyal fanbase but not yet making a real income outside of a few sponsorship dollars for the podcast.

The Girlboss movement gave me the courage to go all in, but it didn’t predict that just 6 months later the pandemic would happen and whatever revenue streams we’d built would shrivel up and die.

Like so many businesses during that time we entered survival mode. Those months (or was it years?) remain a blur, and there were many times I questioned if it was worth the financial struggle or personal pain. With so much time on my hands I paused to reassess and think about what I truly wanted.

The shiny founder I’d aspired to, with her crisp black suit and no bullshit attitude, was now covered in dust.

A shift in the zeitgeist.

Michelle Battersby

, Co-Founder at Sunroom - a platform that helps creators cash in on their content - recently wrote an article in the Sunday Morning Herald about this post-COVID shift in society’s attitude towards work. She says:

“New trends [were] entering the zeitgeist. Think “Lazy girl job” (where women are focused, directional and set clear boundaries), “quiet quitting” (doing your job well but not going above and beyond all the time) and “snail girl” (working intentionally and with purpose, rather than clocking up long hours and working across too many things).”

Our collective exhaustion meant working hard was no longer seen as hip or cool and many people in my circle (especially the founders) started slowing down and prioritising rest over revenue growth.

Society had exited the Girlboss Industrial Complex.

And while I too had pressed pause, finally realising that my dogged determination was worthless if I was crumpled on the floor, the fire to build never left me. I still thrived when moving fast, making quick decisions and pushing forward. But anytime I acted this way I felt out of step with the moment and like I had to apologise for my ambition because it no longer was in vogue.

I felt increasingly out of place. The Girlboss label felt slightly old and stale, and I no longer wanted success at all costs. But I still wanted to get shit done and make stuff happen. I wasn’t a Girlboss, so then who the fuck was I?

Who the fuck am I?

I didn’t even realise I was asking myself this question until I read the article penned by

Michelle Battersby

. She writes:

“The [Girlboss] narrative wasn’t perfect…it created space for ambition and entrepreneurship to be romanticised by young women, though at times failed to portray that it was deeply unrealistic for the 99 per cent. But it also empowered a generation of women to go for what they wanted.

[But now], many ambitious career women have been left wondering where they fit in. For so long, we’ve been pushed into archetypes – are you a girl boss, a snail girl, a She-E-O, a serious career woman, or family oriented?”

Hey, it’s me! I’m that ambitious person, it’s me!

I’m here floating in a broth of an identity soup, left wondering where I fit in. I’m still a hardcore startup operator. I love the pace and fervour that comes with running and working with high growth businesses.

I want to live a big life: to build brands, write books, travel the world and have impact.

But this isn’t the whole picture. I’m also a purposeful, intentional creative. I’m a writer. I appreciate the small moments in life: reading my book in the sunshine, sharing a glass of wine with friends, smelling the first wisp of summer in the ocean breeze.

Here’s the thing: society tries to put us in boxes - labelling us as founder, mother, employee, CEO, writer, creator - and to wrap us up with a nice little bow.

But we’re humans full of complexity and nuance and contradiction. It’s too reductive to say that we’re either dedicated to the cause with every inch of our soul, or we’re not dedicated at all.

So be whoever you are.

Michelle’s article voiced something I’d been feeling for a long time and gave me permission to ditch the labels and simply be who I am.

I’m learning that we can inhabit multiple identities even if they’re contradictory. We can be ambitious yet relaxed. Chaotic but structured. Slow thinking and fast moving. Expressive and productive. Creative and disciplined.

All can be true. And for me, all are.

So here’s to shaking off the labels and celebrating our multi-dimensional, multi-faceted, complex, contradictory, messy selves.

Because we’re not here to be put in a box.

We’re here to break free from one.

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Do yourself a favour and read Michelle’s article titled ‘The girl boss isn’t dead, she’s just evolved’. She’s also building something game changing at Sunroom. I suggest you check her out here.

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👀 Let me know what you think

Are you also caught in the murky broth of an identity soup? Does this newsletter resonate with you? Leave a comment below.

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