The worst part about showing up online isn't pressing publish

After 18 months of writing online, this I know to be true.

Last October I wrote an essay titled ‘How I put myself out there without wanting to die’ and for reasons known only to the universe, it has experienced a rather dopamine-inducing spike of readers over the last month. Either the Substack algorithm is algo-rhythm-ing or people have entered 2025 determined to overcome their deeply held fears, and put themselves out there without inducing a stroke.

This week I thought I’d revisit the topic with a fresh lens because the fear of being seen seems to be universal. Most of us have convinced ourselves that by sharing a mildly interesting thought online - a lesson, experience or opinion - we’ll elicit a violent reaction as loud as the heckling of a giant crowd. We believe that the moment we press publish our entire world will be torn down and our psyche ripped apart. We will be judged. Humiliated. Ridiculed. Blocked!! Fired!!! Exiled from society!!!!!!!!!

Now…I certainly don’t profess to be a ‘showing up online’ expert, nor am I immune to the barrage of self-defeating, self-sabotaging thoughts, but given I’ve been consistently sharing my life, fears, wins, failures and vulnerabilities with the world for around 18 months now, I have one important thing to say.

The worst part about building an online presence or publishing your thoughts isn’t what happens after you share the work. It’s what you experience before.

Before, you’re tangled in knots of self doubt.

Before, you’re scared about how people will or won’t react, or what they will or won’t say, feel or won’t feel.

Before, you’re questioning your credibility so much that it slowly chips away at your self-worth.

You think it’ll get harder after you post but THIS is the worst part. The anticipation. The build up. The procrastinating. The dread.

Never, not once, not ever, have my deepest, darkest fears about writing online come true. Never, not once, has someone told me my opinion is wrong, or that I’m stupid or they wished I’d stop. Never, not once, has a prospect said they don’t want to work together because I wax lyrical about portfolio careers online.

Not once. Not ever.

In fact, my only negative experience from sharing online (except for the occasional snide comments from middle-aged dudes called “Kevin” or “Bryan” which now roll straight off my back) has been my own demons chanting ‘what if!’ and ‘tone it down!’ in the the lead up to pressing post.

Fortunately these days, through relentless action and sheer grit, my publishing demons have exited Satan’s lair. And as someone who’s been there, wrote that, I have a few tips that might help you do the same:

1. Revisit your values

Reorient yourself around what’s important to you. Is it speaking up for yourself or staying quiet to appease others? Is it taking a risk and building your character, or is it holding back and remaining small?

2. Post where no one knows you

When I started writing online none of my friends were on Substack. I had zero followers, zero subscribers, zero people who knew me and zero pressure. Perhaps you could also start here?

3. Lower the stakes

Many people feel that they need to share something deeply profound and novel, but really most of us just want to read words that are real. We want to laugh, we want to learn, we want to feel seen. Just write about your life, and what you’re pondering or have learned. Nothing more, nothing less.

4. Reduce the pressure

You don’t need to become a professional content creator to experience the upside of having an online presence. Some of my mentoring clients have generated enough work to sustain their lives by having a strong network and posting once a week on LinkedIn. You don’t need to be loud to be visible, you just need to be present.

So if you’re reading this with a pit in your stomach or anxiety pulsating through your veins, remember that you’re currently in the Before. The anguish-ridden, self-doubt-spiralling, existential-questioning Before.

But the Before is the worst of it and the After’s not so bad.

The After is where you’ll start to fly.

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🎙️A deep dive: you don’t need to be a professional content creator to experience the upside of having a personal brand:

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3. Shoot me a DM on Insta: I’m here to say hi and answer any and all of your burning Qs.

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