The lonely chapter
A time bookended by friends you’ve outgrown or colleagues you’ve left behind, and a new life that's just out of reach.
A busker plays opposite my favourite cafe every Friday morning. His voice is unique, a blend of folky and operatic, and he sings gut wrenching ballads about personal trauma. Most of the time people bustle past, AirPods in, eyes down, too focused on going somewhere far more important. Other than the occasional slow, solitary clap, I’ve never seen anyone give him a dollar or some praise.
Yet every Friday morning, there he is.
I sometimes think about the parallels between us. Him, trying wholeheartedly to establish his music career, and me, trying hard to build my portfolio career. Him, hitting the pavement alone every Friday morning, and me, publishing my newsletter alone at the same time each week. We’re strangers bound by the invisible string of solo pursuit; our creative rituals are the beating drum of our lives.
They call this part the lonely chapter. It’s a time bookended by friends you’ve outgrown or colleagues you’ve left behind, and a new life that’s just out of reach.
I’ve been riding out this particular chapter for the last 3+ years while slowly building a body of work around independent consulting, this newsletter and my online products and programs. My story has vacillated between progress and stagnation, spikes of confidence and prods of self-doubt, audience growth and subscriber churn, and intense human connection and unending stretches of silence.
The portfolio career building journey has been utterly wonderful, but at times isolating. It’s having no work friends to gossip with and nothing to gossip about. It’s carrying the burden of responsibility for both leading the way and following through. It’s an overflowing inbox but a silent Slack channel. It’s a Christmas party of one. It’s patting your own back. It’s holding your own hand. It’s doubling down on gut instinct and hoping that’s enough.
The lonely chapter can suck but it’s also a fundamental part of the plot, as opposed to an inconvenient detour from it. The temporary dip before the peak, the dark before the light, the mundane but necessary cost of becoming the person you’re meant to be, the inevitable precursor to finding the people who get it, who get you, who are building something similar, who will clap for you along the way.
This morning I went back to my local cafe and saw the busker I’ve come to know so well. For the first time, I took my AirPods out and paused to listen. He noticed me and smiled. Someone else stopped. The foot traffic slowed. A small crowd gathered.
To the beat of the music, I heard a slow, solitary clap. Then another. Then another. Then the crowd burst into thunderous applause.
If you’re ready to build your portfolio career and find your people - those who get it, who get you, who get what you’re trying to create - then register your interest for The Portfolio Career Build Method. It's a 6 week accelerator built on the radical idea that you don't have to do this alone. Doors to the waitlist open June 19.
Why the lonely chapter is a signal you’re on the right path, plus why I’ve designed The Portfolio Career Build Method around the principles of community and human connection.
🫶🏼 When you’re ready, here are two ways I can help:
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I have my ups and downs with the feeling of loneliness, but overall, I've come to enjoy the stillness, the quiet. Something I wasn't able to do when I was running on fumes, dealing with everyone else's chaos at work.
You are not alone, even when you feel lonely. What "appears" as silence is us, listening, absorbing, being encouraged, soaking in your words and wisdom, appreciating your work and worth. Your not isolated, however the circumstances do make it "appear" that way. We who listen have also a responsibility, to reach out, to encourage, to respond, to be grateful and show our appreciation. Thank you for your encouraging newsletters, and blogs, they often resonate and I appreciate the work, blood, sweat and sweet tears that go into their creation.