Practical ways to grow your network without asking anyone to 'pick their brain'.

Everything I know about building high value connections.

👋🏼 Hey, I’m Anna! I’m a founder and operator in an ongoing relationship with writing. Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share business, career and life lessons that I’ve learned over years of trying hard, failing often, and on occasion, succeeding too.

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It was the summer of 2019.

Sweat dripped down my neck as I sat in the back seat of a yellow cab while it raced across the Brooklyn Bridge. I was in New York City with my podcast co-host to record an interview with CJ Hendry, the Aussie artist whose photorealistic drawings I’d admired for years.

There had been some chance involved in landing this interview; CJ’s ex-boyfriend was also my ex-housemate. Luckily enough for me they were still good mates, so when I cold emailed dropping his name and pitching an interview, she responded with a ‘fuck yes!’ rather than a ‘hell no!’.

I could barely believe that I was going to step foot inside the iconic studio I’d seen a thousand times on Instagram. And when we arrived, I was not disappointed. We ended up spending two full days there; eating falafels on the floor, laughing at the crazy artistic stunts she was working on, and seeing the behind-the-scenes of what was a then-secret art business she and her husband had launched under a pseudonym.

To this day, it’s still one of my best memories.

I learned a very important lesson back then - that incredible experiences come through incredible people. Incredible business opportunities do too. And those high profile people and opportunities aren’t as hard to reach as you might think. They’re usually just a cold email or DM away.

Your network is your biggest asset.

Early on in my career, I had no experience, no leverage, and knew no one. Back then, I looked up at people and wondered how they managed to get into certain social or business circles. Now I’m older and wiser, I realise that these super-connectors simply put in the work to build their relationships, just like they’d put in the work to build their careers.

For those of us in the founder or solopreneur game, a high value network isn’t optional, it’s a must. It helps you:

• Secure new clients for your business.

• Build your personal and professional profile.

• Earn money.

• Bring adventure into your life.

• Get access to the right type of help at the right time.

• Access opportunities you otherwise would never be able to get (read: spending two days in an elusive artist’s studio in Brooklyn, NY).

I believe that cultivating high value connections is a little art, a little science, and I’ve only been able to stay in the self-employed game this long because I’ve deliberately built my network alongside my business. Fortunately, that continued effort over a long period of time has paid off:

• My first consulting gig was with a founder I had a coffee with 4 years before they became a client.

• My second gig was through someone I befriended at an event.

• My third was a through an acquaintance who knew a founder that was looking for someone with experience growing beauty brands.

• My fourth was with a colleague I worked alongside 8 years ago, and who later went on to start their own company.

• I’ve interviewed some of Australia’s most successful founders and CEOs, and some of them have become my mentors and advisors.

• And so on, and so on…

I’m no ‘networking expert’ but I have built one I’m proud of. Read on to find out how.

How normal people build supernormal networks.

When it comes to building relationships, I take action in four distinct stages:

1. The setup

• Create a personal CRM: I track the people I’ve talked to, want to talk to, and the people who’ve told me they don’t want to talk to me (it happens). Mine is built on Notion but any tool will work.

• Create a hit list: Mine includes people who are further along in the journey than me, those at the same stage, and those coming up behind me. I proactively think about the value I can offer to every single person before reaching out; whether it’s a relevant introduction, a piece of advice or some useful feedback on their business.

2. Before the meeting

• Orbit the sun: If there’s a high profile person I want to meet, I engage with others in their orbit first. I’ve had coffee with senior leaders in a business before reaching out to the founder. I’ve worked with micro influencers as a stepping stone to reaching their macro influencer friends. I’ve leveraged one podcast guest to get another. By doing this, my name inevitably starts cropping up in the right conversations and circles. When I do eventually make contact, I’m familiar.

• Reach out: I send at least one LinkedIn message or email to someone new each day. I ask for the call. I pitch for the meeting. Nine times out of ten, I’ll get it.

• Never ask to ‘pick someone’s brain’: It’s lazy. I can do better than that (and so can you).

3. During the meeting

• Match the energy: When I was younger I used to burst into meetings with the energy of a slightly unhinged groupie. I learned pretty quickly that way of presenting myself could be intimidating or off putting. Now, I gauge the other person’s energy and match it. It’s the quickest way to put someone at ease.

• Listen more than you speak: The best way to start building a relationship is by hearing what they have to say. Ask questions. Lots of them.

• Give more than you take: Support people before asking for their help. Make intros before asking them of others. It’s like a boomerang: the more you offer, the more will come back to you.

• Make notes: If you’ve read this essay you’ll know I make notes for everything. As soon as I get off a call I write down any key points in my personal CRM for later.

4. After the meeting

• Write thank you notes: A handwritten note that I’ve popped in the mail is far more memorable than an email I shoot off. And people remember how you made them feel, not what you said.

• Make intros: If I know someone who can help someone else, I make the intro. I facilitate the connection proactively. And every time I meet someone new, I flick through my CRM rolodex to see who I know that they should.

• Get personal: If I know someone’s birthday, I’ll set a reminder to send them a happy birthday email or text. If I know someone’s launching a new product in 3 months, I’ll reach out in 2. If I hear that someone is looking to raise money around EOFY, I’ll make investor intros in May. This is when my note taking habit and personal CRM really shine.

The sky is the limit.

There’s no limit to the people you can meet and the opportunities you can create if you put in the work. Truly, there is no limit.

All you need is the courage to reach out, the commitment to give more than you get, and a system to help you pull it all together.

If you nail these three things you will build high value relationships. You will create opportunities that you could have never imagined. You will live an exciting, abundant, supernormal life.

And who knows? One day you might find yourself in an artist’s Brooklyn studio, sweat dripping down your neck, looking back and marvelling at how you ended up there.

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👀 What are your best relationship building tips?

Let us know in the comments below.

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